I've been weak. I mean, I've been getting that feeling of weakness, mushy mangled up helplessness mixed with a little bit of happiness, hotness, craving for sex and skin contact. I don't know if you have the faintest clue as to what I'm talking about, but I think it's what K.D. Lang calls "Constant Craving" in that song.
I get it when I watch lesbian movies with hot sex scenes.
As if there's a game of mine sweeper going on in my body. Engulfed by romance.
Don't get me wrong: I don't even like Kd Lang, neither do I like to feel mangled.
But I've been watching Desert Hearts, that old pre-dyke-revolution movie with big American convertibles and lots of sand. And God, that sex scene hits right home.
There's more to it than the sex scene. It's an excellent movie, a good story set in a seductive environment (heat, crooners, casino's, horses and chicks with boots).
The movie is based on a book by Jane Rule and the storyline is rather simple: 1959. Vivian Bell (Shaver), an English professor at Columbia University, travels to Nevada to establish six-week residency to obtain a divorce. She stays at a guest house for women waiting for their divorces to be finalized. That's were she meets Cay Rivers, a free-spirited ceramist who works at a casino. (source: wikipedia)
It's a story of opposites attract. Two smart women. One young, one older. Cay is out, Vivian is struggling heavily with her sexuality.
When Vivian finally gives in to Cay's seduction attempts, she's in that state of utter confusion when there's no way back and a very frightening experience is looming over you. "Somewhere between sex and fear passion is" wrote Jeanette Winterson and that's what it's all about. The intellectual,reserved Vivian has lived a life as dry as the desert. Cay is her way out and Vivian knows it.
While watching the Desert Hearts bed scene I could feel the fear and exitement seeping through Vivian's pores, the hotness and the want stirring her body in cold electrifying twinges. Sex after yearning.
It's about the longest most sexy close up of kissing between 2 women I ever saw in a movie. And what I liked even better was the humour and the realness of it all: the awkwardness, vulnerability and uncontrollable want.
Well, now you know what to watch, when in need...